I love looking through all of the direct mail that I receive. I have stand-alone DSL now instead of Charter Cable internet (which saves me about $20 per month on my internet bill.) So, direct mail does have the potential to reach an appropriate target audience. I recently received the above mailer advertising a credit card called Venue whose tagline is “Making luxury affordable.” (more…)
Author: admin
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Combatting our Culture of Crass Conspicuous Consumption
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Just Say NO to an Auto Industry Bailout
I just sent the following letter to Representative Mike Rogers, Senator Richard Shelby, and Senator Jeff Sessions.
It would be a sad day to see GM, Chrysler, and Ford go out of business, but I’m afraid I just can’t afford to prop them up. I have my own financial obligations to take care of before I go saving entire industries. (more…)
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Gov. Riley Single-Handedly Creates Fuel Shortage in Alabama
Governor Riley Declares State of Emergency, Price Gouging Law Goes Into Effect
For those too lazy to click the link and read the article, Alabama Governor Bob Riley delcared a state of emergency with regards to the potential for fuel shortages caused by Hurricane Ike. Thanks Gov. Riley. Thanks a lot.
Anytime a state of emergency is declared, a state “anti-price gouging” law goes into effect to “protect” consumers from “unconscionable pricing.” Not only do I think that “fuel shortage” does not constitute a state of emergency, but I think Gov. Riley greatly aided this shortage by declaring the state of emergency. (more…)
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Wanna fix high gas prices? Reduce your demand!
A mug for everyone who ignores their rampant consumption of fossil fuels, yet whines about the price. I’ve seen a surge in the amount of “gas strike” events and groups on Facebook lately. They’ve always been around, and, foolishly, people continue to remain oblivious to the fact that their central premise is seriously flawed.Gas will not become cheaper by not purchasing on a certain day.
Gas will not become cheaper by not purchasing from a particular company.
Wake up, people. This is not how gas will become cheaper. The goal should not be cheap gas anyway. The goal should be to use less gas. In fact, that’s the best way to see gas prices go down: stop using so much of it. (more…)
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Gym Jam
It all started when I wanted to take a martial arts class (not to be confused with marital arts which is something completely different). I asked around here and there, and I was eventually directed to Gold’s Gym, where it was believed that there were weekly martial arts classes. “Great! That’s near where I work!” I thought. I scheduled a tour of the facilities and promised myself that I would not purchase a gym membership. In fact, I was so serious about this, I had several friends text me throughout the day to affirm that resolution. After all, I didn’t want a gym membership. Treadmills, ellipticals, and spinning classes are fine I guess, but I didn’t want any of that. I want a mat on the floor and Asian writing on the walls.Was that too much to ask? Yes, it was. (more…)
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Wanted: Someone With Whom to Split the Bills
Someone with whom to split the utilities. It’s quite simple: I’m looking for someone to pay half. You don’t get to use the utilities, and you don’t get to live with me. You do, however, get to enjoy the fact that you are making my world a happier place in which to live. Please email me directly regarding the position.
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How to Write a Resignation Letter
Today I wrote only the second resignation letter of my life… and it wasn’t even for me. The person for whom I wrote it was both unable to manage her time properly enough to include part time employment, but too clueless to write a proper resignation letter. Here is a sample from her intended resignation letter:
Dear ****, I’ve really liked working here, but I can’t any more because school is just too much for me. Thanks for all the great times!
-*******
I wish I had made that up, but alas, I did not. With my superior linguistic skills and my excessive compassion for those less fortunate, I stepped up to the position of Resignation Letter Ghost Writer. I made sure that she-who-is-too-ashamed-to-be-named looked over my shoulder while I wrote so that she may some day leave a job with dignity instead of weird looks and suppressed snickers.
So many things were wrong with her typed diarrhea that I almost had a hard time getting started with a decent letter. Almost. Following is The Complete Moron’s Guide to Resignation Letter Writing Don’ts.
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